It’s hard to be happy about your birthday let alone happy about anything this year really…

How can I be happy when there is so much shit going on. People are getting killed from cops, people are dying from the Corona virus, and the world seems as if it’s falling a part at a rapid rate. As an advocate of health, fitness, and wellness, it is hard seeing people behave with so much hate. The hate they have for others is deeply inside themselves, yet they can’t see it. Who in the right mind would think this is okay. Something is really WRONG.

It’s hard seeing people go through things they have no control, or awareness of.

I’m always striving for self improvement, but even that can get exhausting. You have to do what’s best for you, and that can change at anytime. However, it is on you!

thirty4. I’ve decided to no longer strive to be the best, but to do the best I can that day. I’m giving myself permission to step back, and not attack myself for doing so.

Like a song, we cling on to those lyrics that mean so much to us. So much goes into it. That’s the beauty of life. The good, bad, and ugly has to mix in together, sometimes all at once, or one at a time.

We’re making a big pot of gumbo. Sometimes Top Ramen. It all depends, it’s all perspective, right.

It’s hard to be happy when you’re just not. I’m okay with that. It would be weird to be happy all the time, and unrealistic. But I’m happy with some things yes, but waiting for the other shit to pass.

We just gotta learn along the way. Every trial has something to offer, but it’s up to you to take it.

thirty4. I feel young, yet mature enough to use my time wisely. I’ve spent so much time in the pass helping and building others, and non-existent relationships, that I’ve failed to relate to myself. I’m taking my time now getting to know ME again, as Monique, and not as someone’s “person”.

I needed to see those signs, hear those messages, touch the untouchable, feel the uncomfortable, love the hate. I am better for me and those around me. No longer will I break that habit in order to build for another. I’ll be selfish with all of my offerings from now on.

A delicate flower, 34 with a strong & soft appearance, complexed as they say about INFJs. My heart is soft my mind is strong. I have my moments like anyone else, but really I try to turn the volume down as needed.

So, instead of being happy on this day, my birthday. I’m just going to be mindful. A mind full of 🙃❤️😌😊🤬😡😯🤪😝😏😋🙄😒😤😰😢🤯😬😦🤨😴😪😵😩😫.

Hope.