Being a people-pleaser only pleases them, but what about you?

Growing up as the middle child, I’ve always had to care for my younger siblings. I was the oldest in the home, while my older brothers lived with their father. The trait I had growing up was like being another parent, so it made me feel responsible in helping take care of my younger brother and sister. This pleased my mom, of course, and I didn’t mind it. However, as I gotten older, I noticed how some people, including my mother, would take advantage of me. This began to take a toll on me, and no matter how much I helped them, if wasn’t enough. This led to a breaking point in my life.

Feeling obligated to help the people I care for, and sometimes feeling bad for their situation, created an overload for me. I was so busy taking care of them, but who was taking care of me? It took some time for me to learn that investing in others is okay, yet they must truly want to help themselves. People should not take  advantage of others, and instead help them help themselves, and vice versa. Just imagine if we lived in a world like this; so many of us would be happier.

Investing in yourself takes time and patience. There will be people, especially the ones you were helping, that will think otherwise. When I decided to go back to school, some of these people behaved as if I was doing something wrong. These are the type of people that don’t deserve your help. The nerve of them to become angry because you want to do better for yourself. We can’t help everyone, all the time, but we can help ourselves, all the time. When some people see that, they become negative towards you or your accomplishments, and sometimes don’t realize that.

This should be an inspiration to them, but instead they change when you are no longer a benefit to them, and that’s not right, nor fair. I like helping people help themselves, but when I come across people who just want to take advantage of my help, I have to break away from them. It is not mine, nor anyone else’s responsibility to hold their hands constantly, so they can get over their issue. Some people don’t really want to help themselves, so they put their issue onto others. What sense does that make?

The funny thing is, they may think of the person, who’s investing in themselves, as selfish, but in reality they’re the ones’ that are selfish. So take it from me, and learn how to invest in yourself. It is not about “getting money”, investing in yourself includes taking the time to truly take care of you; adding quality to your life. This can be taking on a new hobby, spending time alone, treating yourself, saving money for yourself, etc. Investing is anything that’s going to help you in the long run. Your journey should be about you, and it is okay to put yourself first. A lot of us don’t, and waste time on others who are not as valuable to us, as we are to them.

What does the quote above mean to you?

Take the time to figure out who’s in your best interest, and who’s taking up space…


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