Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

FeaturedLearn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….

Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what? 

This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries. 

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Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.

Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities. 

Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,

M0j0

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Different Breeds of People? Hmmm…

Different Breeds of People? Hmmm…

Makes you think right? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable with the thought.

Well it shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable, because we are all different, duuuuhhh! I think a lot of people forget that. We are animals, and some of of us monsters, but that’s the beauty of diversity. Even though it scares some people, it still doesn’t make it okay to mistreat others. We all have to do better at accepting differences, this is the only way for us to come together. I get stares sometimes, and it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, yet I get curious to know what the person is thinking. It probably doesn’t matter to them on my work ethic, how passionate I am about helping others, my college degrees, sense of humor, or how loving of a person I am.

People right a way make assumptions, and those assumptions alter their behavior towards you. So unfair, I know. And then you hear well people are who they are. Well I say we need to stop excusing that type of behavior. If someone has a small, narrow mind, then I wouldn’t want to be bothered by them anyhow, so in away, they are saving me a headache, and maybe vice versa, who knows. This is still not a reason to mistreat people, and assume the worse from them. I mean people need to get out of their head sometimes, but old habits can be hard to break. We all need to practice thinking about our “why”. If there is a thought (negative, or positive) ask yourself why. Ask yourself why the other person makes you feel the way you do. Ask yourself if this is something your learned, and how you can unlearn this feeling. Face your fears by asking yourself questions, maybe questions you are afraid to answer….Challenge yourself. 

Become friends with people who are different from you. It is a blessing, and you can truly learn from each other. I think it is important to start embracing more things than not. Life is too short to limit yourself, and this includes your thinking. Get out of the habit of thinking the worse, and began embracing the things you don’t understand. Give it patience, because the answers will come to you. And though there are different breeds of people on the world, we can only gravitate towards our own breed, but this doesn’t mean race, or culture, but more of a movement, a journey that you can share with others, and have open inviting arms.

Can we live? And allow others to live? That’ll always be the goal! 

M0j0

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Pay Attention & Take Note…

Not everyone sees the things you see, and maybe they’re not suppose to. You see things for a reason, and yes it is unclear sometimes on why you see it, but use what you see to your advantage to help yourself, and others. You ever do something for someone, or see something and thought “why did I have to see that?” or why did this happen? I like to look at these incidents as a shift coming into action. Pay close attention to these circumstances. Sometimes, I feel that random things happen to prepare us for the next step of our journey. You have to learn to use these opportunities as a a way to learn. This can either be for your advantage, or maybe for someone else. Just pay attention.

The answer might be right in front of you, or maybe a question will pop in your head, but whatever the case is, if you pay close attention you’ll discover something you may have not discovered before. Take notice to these things, behaviors of others, and what they say and how they say it. It can be anywhere, and anyone, but you paying attention is being thoughtful about the situation. Exercise your thoughts! too many of us are not fully utilizing our brain. This doesn’t mean you have to come up with a solution, it just means to think, more so exercising your mind to become more mindful. Sounds simple right? Our way of thinking triggers from our habits. We become so use to thinking a certain way, or not thinking at all.

This creates issues, such as misunderstanding others, or ourselves, jumping into conclusions, and just plain thinking you know everything. We all do not have the answers, yet we should be open-minded into thinking about the possibilities. There can be more than one right or wrong answer, or solutions, yet we have to learn to expand the way we think. Once we have mastered this, we can expand our way of doing other things. Think about it. You learn to master the way you think, and began paying attention more, and then become more open and even wiser about your actions. 

The more you pay attention, the more you create for yourself, but you have to put in the work. It takes practice, and all of us can enhance our way of thinking, and being.

Take it one day at a time, and consider the new things you notice when you pay close attention.

Any new thoughts?

M0j0

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As I sit here….

With a sore butt!

I’m thinking about how important it is to check in with yourself. So many of of us are constantly on the go, and without breaks of really getting to check in with ourselves. I always think there is not enough time in the day, but the power that we have is to create the time we want! We have to make time for what’s really important, so never forget about yourself. You are as important as your daily tasks. In fact, you are more than important, you are loved, and those daily tasks wouldn’t even exist without you doing them. So you really have to learn to make yourself a priority, and take care of yourself first. Don’t be afraid to do so either dammit!

Take a step back, breathe, ask yourself questions, think of solutions, and be positive. It looks like you are already aware, because here you are. Obviously, we are here to grow, you know be adults and shit, yet you still need to do these “simple” yet rewarding things for yourself. Be S E L F I S H sometimes, it is okay, I promise! Have you noticed how lighter you feel when you do? This is why we need to check in with ourselves, we don’t realize what we are missing until it is missing, but it is never too late. Once you feel the need to slow down, it is the need to check in with yourself. Take a pause for the cause. Too many of us worry about the lives of others and lose the focus of our own. What a silly thing to do right? But also, what a wasteful thing to do. Take into consideration that when you are right with yourself everything else falls into place, simple yes, but truthful. What is meant for you will come on its own, and it is a beautiful thing to witness. Just remember how you are using your energy, and apply it accordingly. Be MindFULL! I know it is easy to forget, we are human and none of us are perfect. But what makes us beautiful is knowing that we are not, and yet we still strive to be the best we can be. Don’t lose your touch, EVER! 

So do your homework, or in this case SOULwork, and check in with yourself. How are you feeling? why, how, and what can we do to change it? or enhance it…. We are our own worst critics, but we can be our own best coaches too.

Learn and never stop growing! 

M0j0

Stop Pressuring Yourself…

Don’t be so mean.

You make these goals, just so you feel accomplished. But still, that wasn’t enough. You get more than one job, and take on any hobby that comes your way, and still it is not enough. Have you really thought to yourself why, or if you actually like these things. Or are you too busy trying to keep up with everyone else, by ignoring your true self.

Exhausting to think about right. It’s a word I use quite often, I think, exhausting… because a lot of “things” are meaningless if they lack feeling, and for me that is exhausting. I feel like it is important to try things, at least once, well depending on what it is. Coordinating different things in any part of your journey can be fun, and we should not pressure ourselves so much. We need to learn to flow with it…Go….With….The…Flow…as they say, ya know. This is something quite new to some of us, but ever get tired of that, putting so much pressure on yourself? It’s time for something new.

Sometimes you gotta let your goals accomplish themselves. You’ve already put in the work, so leave it alone. Step back sometimes, and let that shit marinate. Like a tender steak. You have to learn to give yourself time, and not think that results are going to happen as you please. The universe works wonders, but that’s just it. LET IT! Don’t be too busy wondering, just do and know that it is already yours.

Take it easy…

M0j0

It’ll Never Be Perfect…

But still make the best of it.

You ever try to plan something so accordingly that you think nothing can go wrong, and maybe nothing goes wrong per se, but the plan still didn’t go as planned. It makes you feel some type of way right? I know, I’m a perfectionist too, and being a perfectionist can be quite daunting while trying to accomplish something. UGhHhhhhH!!! it is annoying to know what you need to do, and yet you make plans for them to not go all the way through, as you wanted. But you know what, it will be okay.

This is to show you that you are not always in control, and that sometimes a change of course can be better in the long run. There are more things to learn, so you have to first learn to trust the timing, as well as the process. Everything cannot always be on your time, how selfish are you? (sticks out tongue :P) Although, most times we are doing things to benefit ourselves in some way, we still have to abide by the rules along the way. Well, not necessarily “rules,” but we have to think of the process in this way at times. This is to let you know that life is an experience, so we are free to do what ever we choose, but at the same time we have to make sacrifices too. And these sacrifices are to help us get to the greater result. Trust the timing, and I guarantee that once you’ve passed this level in your life, you’ll have more to gain, wisdom being at the top, obviously.

But that’s the beauty about life not being perfect. It it were to be perfect, we would damnear predict and know everything, and we shouldn’t. Instead, we should be more willing, and this can help resolve a lot of our “worldly issues”. Be more willing to learn, because this is how we grow ultimately, but we also have to be more willing to do. Of course, it will never be perfect, but being willing to do things will help us get to the next level. The more willing we are in doing things, the more resilient we’ll become.

We have to be willing to make adjustments in our lives, and not being in control all the time will help allow us to become more resilient along the way.

You got this!

M0j0

Sometimes… (Part 1)

You get tired of people’s shit. Yet somehow, they want you to be a part of THEIR shit (so badly)… I just don’t get it!

I like taking the slower route to change, because I enjoy seeing and using other routes, but not other people do that. Shit we all things differently right. But, what I don’t get is how people can do whatever it is they do, then expect you to be a part of it. What if you still need time to adjust to this change, especially a dramatic change. This is not to take away from the other person, but there are boundaries (which a lot of people do not have, and don’t care if you do).

I’m just exhausted. I know there are others going through this too, because I see it almost everyday. Let’s vow to not be a part of anything, or anyone, we don’t want to be a part of, and not feel guilty over it. I just wish people paid more attention to their actions, and stop expecting those around them to change on their watch. It’s not fair right? Why should we have to stop our lives to cater to something, or someone who deep down doesn’t want to be a part of it themselves?

Also, give people time, everyone is not quick to adapting to certain situations and people right away… 

long sigh,

M0j0