Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….

Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what? 

This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries. 


Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.

Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities. 

Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,



Pay Attention & Take Note…

Not everyone sees the things you see, and maybe they’re not suppose to. You see things for a reason, and yes it is unclear sometimes on why you see it, but use what you see to your advantage to help yourself, and others. You ever do something for someone, or see something and thought “why did I have to see that?” or why did this happen? I like to look at these incidents as a shift coming into action. Pay close attention to these circumstances. Sometimes, I feel that random things happen to prepare us for the next step of our journey. You have to learn to use these opportunities as a a way to learn. This can either be for your advantage, or maybe for someone else. Just pay attention.

The answer might be right in front of you, or maybe a question will pop in your head, but whatever the case is, if you pay close attention you’ll discover something you may have not discovered before. Take notice to these things, behaviors of others, and what they say and how they say it. It can be anywhere, and anyone, but you paying attention is being thoughtful about the situation. Exercise your thoughts! too many of us are not fully utilizing our brain. This doesn’t mean you have to come up with a solution, it just means to think, more so exercising your mind to become more mindful. Sounds simple right? Our way of thinking triggers from our habits. We become so use to thinking a certain way, or not thinking at all.

This creates issues, such as misunderstanding others, or ourselves, jumping into conclusions, and just plain thinking you know everything. We all do not have the answers, yet we should be open-minded into thinking about the possibilities. There can be more than one right or wrong answer, or solutions, yet we have to learn to expand the way we think. Once we have mastered this, we can expand our way of doing other things. Think about it. You learn to master the way you think, and began paying attention more, and then become more open and even wiser about your actions. 

The more you pay attention, the more you create for yourself, but you have to put in the work. It takes practice, and all of us can enhance our way of thinking, and being.

Take it one day at a time, and consider the new things you notice when you pay close attention.

Any new thoughts?



The All High and Mighty and Miserable…

Some of ya’ll really crack me up. You say all the bad things of the world, yet you still succumb to it in some way shape or form. You know why, because you are still Human, and not perfect, and will never be perfect. Whenever I see people like this, it makes me appreciate the person I am, because I’m not perfect, nor do I try to be. My goals, and my true purpose in life and that’s to LIVE and LOVE the life I’m living. That should be a simple tool for each and one of us to use when referring to how we should live our lives. NO ONE IS COMING OUT ALIVE, so LIVE, and LOVE. I can guarantee you’ll appreciate your life much better. This of course comes to letting go of control, and your ego.

Go ahead and limit yourself, but how do you feel when you do, miserable right? It is okay to be cautious, but to do so in fear defeats the purpose of living. I cannot say how I choose to live is the best way, but no one can, because we are all different. The way that things may affect you and your body, may not do the same for someone else. Think about the different animal breeds we have, we are all not the same, we don’t all act, and react the same. This is one of the reasons why I choose to keep things as general, yet real as I can. We can all read the same book, but we will all gain something different from it. This is why I feel diversity is necessary, sharing and learning from each other is how we will evolve. Acting all high and mighty will make you miserable. Think about all the people who you believe is powerful, they are miserable. Think about the super conscious people, miserable, the poor, miserable, the rich people are miserable, the happy or the sad, and its understandable, trust me I get it. We live in a world that has allowed a lot of us to become miserable because of all the different shit we learn and observe, but it doesn’t mean to stop living. Don’t lose the human touch because you think you are God. No one is. We hold a special piece, and it is up to you on how you use that power, but don’t do it in misery. Instead do it out of love. There is a huge difference.

So, LIVE, beautifully, unapologetically, but not in misery. Remember just like the food we absorb, we absorb our feelings too, which is just as bad. Don’t forget about your feelings. Just like the food we eat to nourish our bodies, we have to nourish our feelings too. So keep that in mind. The body is our temple, but what about your mind, your soul, your destiny?

Limit yourself if you want, but remember LIFE is for the Living…


Money Makes The World Go Around,

But love will always make life worth living…

Money and love is what most of us want in life. But ultimately, it seems like we cannot have both, equally anyhow. We all think that these two will solve our problems, but sometimes these are the same two things that create them. We have to be more thoughtful into what we are putting in to our world. Sure money pays for a living, but love makes us feel like we are living. We have to learn to set aside the material to what truly matters. We all want, yet do we truly cater to our needs and those around us? Money can be just as blind as being in love, and combine the two we have paradise, or maybe a disaster. Be intentional when it comes to these life changers. Many of use don’t realize how we perceive money and love, so think about it and ask yourself. You can always make money, and from anything these days. But love, we need to be more careful, and in tuned with ourselves. Money comes and goes, but love will forever stay in your soul.

Just make it worthwhile.

Stop Pretending!

Stop Pretending!

Let’s leave that in 2016, along with some other shit…

I’m seeing a lot of people in their feelings, and I’m sure it has a lot to do with some guilt or maybe some regrets from the year. 2016 has been a lot, and like the years prior, there’ll always be ups and downs, but what good is a resolution if you don’t have any intentions on really changing.

Stop pretending! This is one of the main problems a lot of of us have. We get so caught up in a situation, and sometimes lose ourselves. We need to be more mindful of our thoughts, as it will lead to our actions. Check in with yourself and ask yourself questions, don’t just act! People pretend so well that they believe their situation is ideal because maybe they have some admirers, or maybe they are too lazy to make the necessary changes. Funny thing is, sometimes they have the nerve to belittle the things you want to do with your life, although what you want is truly fulfilling. Don’t lose that focus. Don’t allow the “fakeness” rub off on you. Let them keep that “wannabe” happiness to themselves.

I don’t know about you, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable seeing and knowing things, yet others cannot or just refuse to see for themselves.

So let them, and continue to strive….without pretending of course! 😉

Real talk!



Stop Being Counter-Productive On Your Goals…

Stop Being Counter-Productive On Your Goals…

So stop distracting yourself! I know, it’s easier said than done…

Counter-productivity is something I often notice, even I can be so at times. But I am also very selective in my counter-productivity. I’m sure you know the key word by now right? Have you ever noticed the bigger distraction while doing what you’re not suppose to be doing at the moment? Probably not. Often times, we act more than think, and when it’s done, that’s when it hits. It can be a horrible feeling. Being so distracted doing other things, and not accomplishing what you intend to do. If you find this to be an issue, then you need to practice being more conscious. Not just of your actions, but your thinking. Seriously, think of the times you find yourself doing things that are counter-productive, I bet you were feeling some type of way right? Well use that as an opportunity for you to fight it. It can be challenging, but once those feelings come up, still take care of what you need to. You will feel better that you did. This is how you become disciplined.

Also, it is important to think of your intentions when you “purposely” distract yourself. I say this because being productive requires just as much energy as not being productive. So choose the activity wisely. All-in-all this is to help wake your mind up, your brain is fully functioning but you also have to exercise your mind just as much as your brain.

It all starts with a thought! Now ignite it!!


Week#7 Loc Update

Week#7 Loc Update

August 29th, 2016 marks the 7th week of my loc journey and everything is well with my hair. The locs are becoming firmer, or stiffer (both words sound funny to me lol) but you get my drift. I’ve been doing less with my hair, but of course still moisturizing with water and coconut oil.

What I’m learning about my locs, versus my loose natural hair, is that they really don’t need much. Let me tell ya’ll something…. Everyone’s hair is indeed different, and it is so important to listen and respond to YOUR hair! I enjoy watching others with their hair, because it is about expressing yourself. It is definitely safe to say that everyone’s experience is different, but it is also okay to learn from one another.

Okay, so now that little disclaimer is over…. I stopped using gel. I couldn’t believe how much build up I was getting. My hair strands are very fine and kinky. When I was a loose natural, my hair would become very nappy and tangled when there was too much product in my hair. With locs, however, gel is a no go, because it is obviously a little more difficult to get out. THIS IS NO LIE!

I re-twisted my boyfriends locs, and after conditioning his hair he had so much build up from the gel (from re-twisting previously). So yeah, no more gel. It was not necessarily needed, I mean I don’t miss it.

What have I’ve been using you might ask…..Shea Moisture’s styling milk:


This is the only product I use to re-twist and LOVE IT. To be honest, this was a staple product when I had my loose natural hair, and it has never failed me. I really love all their products, but this happens to be my all time favorite for sure. I waited two weeks before re-twisting again, and when I did, it was a whole lot quicker. It took an hour and I had less separating to do, yet I did have a bunch of frizzies, which is to be expected.


This (pic above) was the night prior to re-twisting. I’m going to try to make it to 3 or 4 weeks this time, but working out on a regular basis will be challenging for me, but so far every 2 weeks is working.


This was the next day. As you can see I was feeling my re-twist and snapped it 😀

I still used the ApHogee shampoo. My hair always feels so clean after using this, and as mentioned before, this shampoo helps with removing build up. I also tried a protein conditioner and it was pretty good. I was nervous but because my hair is becoming firm so quickly, I thought why not. I then squeezed coconut oil into the locs and massaged my scalp with it.

I loved this time around; it was so easy breezy,

Remember L E S S is Always more!