The love I have for you is so real, that it’s rare. I know, you sometimes feel a bit uneasy, intimidated even. But know that I love you, so there is nothing to fear. But what if there is? Would you be open to talk to me about it? Would you trust me enough to know that I care, and want what’s best for you. I love you, so don’t fear, just tell me how you really feel. I see how you look at me, I’m not a stranger, you and I are quite familiar. Different because of our own perception…. Have we failed to learn about one another as one and not as individuals? Because we are one, you and I. And you are not alone, ever. If you only knew the love I have for you is more than just a friend, a colleague, a lover, my fellow human. I root high for you, we can all win together. I know you can do this if you want, but you have to be open to love. If you only knew the love I have for you, maybe you wouldn’t judge. Is it too overwhelming for you? Let the overflow of my love carry along and release . Do you want it? Would you be able to handle it?
I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….
Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what?
This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries.
Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.
Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities.
Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,
You get tired of people’s shit. Yet somehow, they want you to be a part of THEIR shit (so badly)… I just don’t get it!
I like taking the slower route to change, because I enjoy seeing and using other routes, but not other people do that. Shit we all things differently right. But, what I don’t get is how people can do whatever it is they do, then expect you to be a part of it. What if you still need time to adjust to this change, especially a dramatic change. This is not to take away from the other person, but there are boundaries (which a lot of people do not have, and don’t care if you do).
I’m just exhausted. I know there are others going through this too, because I see it almost everyday. Let’s vow to not be a part of anything, or anyone, we don’t want to be a part of, and not feel guilty over it. I just wish people paid more attention to their actions, and stop expecting those around them to change on their watch. It’s not fair right? Why should we have to stop our lives to cater to something, or someone who deep down doesn’t want to be a part of it themselves?
Also, give people time, everyone is not quick to adapting to certain situations and people right away…
Let’s leave that in 2016, along with some other shit…
I’m seeing a lot of people in their feelings, and I’m sure it has a lot to do with some guilt or maybe some regrets from the year. 2016 has been a lot, and like the years prior, there’ll always be ups and downs, but what good is a resolution if you don’t have any intentions on really changing.
Stop pretending! This is one of the main problems a lot of of us have. We get so caught up in a situation, and sometimes lose ourselves. We need to be more mindful of our thoughts, as it will lead to our actions. Check in with yourself and ask yourself questions, don’t just act! People pretend so well that they believe their situation is ideal because maybe they have some admirers, or maybe they are too lazy to make the necessary changes. Funny thing is, sometimes they have the nerve to belittle the things you want to do with your life, although what you want is truly fulfilling. Don’t lose that focus. Don’t allow the “fakeness” rub off on you. Let them keep that “wannabe” happiness to themselves.
I don’t know about you, but it just makes me feel uncomfortable seeing and knowing things, yet others cannot or just refuse to see for themselves.
So let them, and continue to strive….without pretending of course! 😉
This debate seriously needs to come to an END!
I’ve seen post addressing loose naturals who are transitioning into locs, and how they are not going to be supported because they didn’t support locs before.
WHAT SENSE DOES THAT MAKE?!
How can anyone be for anything that was foreign to them at the time? I mean were you always for locs, or loose natural hair even when you didn’t have either?
The problem is, it is not about who was for locs, and who wasn’t, it was about the NOW and supporting each other, regardless of hair or style…
I never knew there was such a thing, and maybe it’s because I live in California. I didn’t see the separation, until I got online. It is very disheartening to see, because it is mainly other black women tearing each other down. I’m all about love and support, and although not everyone is on the same boat, it doesn’t mean you have to belittle others decisions because of how you feel. Most of how you feel is from how you feel about yourself, and maybe it is something you have to accept in yourself to see that.
Without knowing someone’s intentions, and making accusations, is just showing insecurity and judgment. Instead of eliminating the discrimination, some are adding more to it. You can be entitled to how you think and can freely express yourself, however what is the true intention behind it? I just believe there are certain ways to go about things, and bashing and gossiping is not one of them.
I just wish we wold stop bringing each other down, and instead try to be more understanding. Without doing this, the “natural hair community” will go down more than go up.
Let us not lose the idea of what natural really is…
We are in a delicate time, and it is important to remain hopeful and optimistic. It is okay to grieve, but never allow things uncontrollable control you. As the saying “life goes on” is true and blunt, we have to do just that. Everyone is different, and we are affected in different ways. What we all need to work on is just accepting that. Not everyone is going to be okay with different things going on in the world, and not everyone is going to be sad.
What is important, however, is that we go to those who are capable of showing the affection you need. Or maybe you’re not an emotional person, and want to be alone when certain things happen. It all just depends on what kind of person you are, and where you need to go to for support. Any type of delicacy may, or may not, need the attention from others, but it is important to realize that not everyone is the same and will not always be affected the same way. This brings me to the importance of having an open mind, and most importantly an open heart.
What many of us forget is the importance of love. Needless to say, we do express love differently, and that’s okay that we do. We just need to learn to not express hate. This first begins with loving yourself. It sounds simple to say, but when you think about it a loving person will not harm or look down upon another. This is because they have love within themselves, and they’re able to show it. Unfortunately, we cannot be responsible for how others love, but we can start with ourselves.
Think about how you are treating yourself, and others. Love and hate are contagious, so be careful what you are putting out in the world. We all may not see the world the same way, but without love we can’t evolve to a higher ground. Now we have evolved in many ways, but we still have a lot to go, so be that person that is a part of the change, because we need it.
I just want to encourage everyone to be more loving, and if you’re feeling hateful ask yourself why? Be the love you need, and express it outwardly. Trust me, it is worth it.
Mojo from the inside out,