Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

FeaturedLearn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….

Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what? 

This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries. 

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Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.

Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities. 

Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,

M0j0

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It’s Pretty F*ck*d Up

It’s Pretty F*ck*d Up

When you really sit down and think about it…..

It’s crazy when you seem like the type of person to do anything for anyone, and yet you don’t receive the same back. This can go for any type of relationship. But for now, I am speaking about intimate relationships. At 30, I am more aware of my desires than I was 5+ years ago, and now that I am single, I am more focused on not having a relationship. However, what has never changed is my effort towards someone when I really like them. This is where the f*ck*ry begins though. When the feelings aren’t mutual to begin with, one of course puts in more effort than the other, and it just amazes me how the other gets away with it not doing the same. But to be honest, that is a nasty attitude to have. You are not supposed to do things for something equal or better in return, but at the same time, it is the effort that makes the difference. You can’t make them understand, because the problem, from the very beginning, was that it was never a match to begin with. This is something to pay attention to, from the beginning, and don’t let it slide, because it’ll only get worse.

But because you are the type of person to put in effort, in everything you do, you tried to succeed at something that wasn’t meant to happen, and you know that. Congratulations…..You played ya’ self (as DJ Khaled says lol). I think we sometimes get lost in the game of winning, so you don’t want to give up so easily. And that is understandable. However, you’ll end up hurting yourself. You see the potential, but their potential is not the same as someone already “having it together” like yourself. So this is why it is important to really know yourself and be with someone who truly compliments that. I’ll take my time, even if it is forever, because the best love you’ll ever receive is from yourself anyhow, and you deserve that and more. So love yourself this time…..More!

Imagine if more people were like that. We would have a stronger sense of self, not worried about other peoples lives, drama, belongings, status. You know, not so “social media”, we wouldn’t, compare, and instead be more inspired. Well only in a perfect world, and we are not perfect, we are all trying to figure things out and that’s why we’re here. To try, learn, and share…sounds simple, but here we are, still complicated….

LOL!

M0J0

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Pay Attention & Take Note…

Not everyone sees the things you see, and maybe they’re not suppose to. You see things for a reason, and yes it is unclear sometimes on why you see it, but use what you see to your advantage to help yourself, and others. You ever do something for someone, or see something and thought “why did I have to see that?” or why did this happen? I like to look at these incidents as a shift coming into action. Pay close attention to these circumstances. Sometimes, I feel that random things happen to prepare us for the next step of our journey. You have to learn to use these opportunities as a a way to learn. This can either be for your advantage, or maybe for someone else. Just pay attention.

The answer might be right in front of you, or maybe a question will pop in your head, but whatever the case is, if you pay close attention you’ll discover something you may have not discovered before. Take notice to these things, behaviors of others, and what they say and how they say it. It can be anywhere, and anyone, but you paying attention is being thoughtful about the situation. Exercise your thoughts! too many of us are not fully utilizing our brain. This doesn’t mean you have to come up with a solution, it just means to think, more so exercising your mind to become more mindful. Sounds simple right? Our way of thinking triggers from our habits. We become so use to thinking a certain way, or not thinking at all.

This creates issues, such as misunderstanding others, or ourselves, jumping into conclusions, and just plain thinking you know everything. We all do not have the answers, yet we should be open-minded into thinking about the possibilities. There can be more than one right or wrong answer, or solutions, yet we have to learn to expand the way we think. Once we have mastered this, we can expand our way of doing other things. Think about it. You learn to master the way you think, and began paying attention more, and then become more open and even wiser about your actions. 

The more you pay attention, the more you create for yourself, but you have to put in the work. It takes practice, and all of us can enhance our way of thinking, and being.

Take it one day at a time, and consider the new things you notice when you pay close attention.

Any new thoughts?

M0j0

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The Power Of “Speaking It Into Existence” pt.1 (Beginning With Our Thinking)

We have to get out of the habit of negative self talk. Seriously, why do we set ourselves up for failure? Don’t you get sick of it? 

Think about it, and consider how it’s been working for you, the negative talk, because in all honesty where has it gotten you? I’ve got to the point of ignoring the negative thoughts, wait let me back up a bit. I listen to the thought, but ask myself why? Then I ask myself why not, because you don’t want those thoughts to hinder your progress, right. Yeah, whatever change you’re going through is going to be challenging, but we know that we have to challenge ourselves to change. This is the only way out. Stop giving yourself excuses, this of course is another way to distract yourself from what you should be doing. 

I believe we all do this, some more or less than others, but it is a habit that we all need to work on. Nobody is perfect, we will always encounter negative, or other random thoughts, but it is important to recognize it and be careful on how you speak on it. This is for anything, yourself, others, opportunities, etc. The focus is to speak things into existence that will help you get to the next step, and it obviously involves the way we react to our thinking. Be MINDFUL, ask yourself questions and don’t be afraid to dissect your own thoughts. So many people have the answers for others, without being aware of their damn selves. Don’t be that person, figure out what it is you can do to improve yourself. It is never too late to improve something. You already have it, you just need to go get it.  

Remember you deserve the best, so treat yourself with the respect you deserve. Thinking positively is an exercise, so this is just a reminder that you are worthy.

Think of more solutions, and begin preparing yourself for the week ahead. Baby steps. Think it and speak it into existence. Good, you are being more proactive than you think.

Take care, 

M0jo

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The All High and Mighty and Miserable…

Some of ya’ll really crack me up. You say all the bad things of the world, yet you still succumb to it in some way shape or form. You know why, because you are still Human, and not perfect, and will never be perfect. Whenever I see people like this, it makes me appreciate the person I am, because I’m not perfect, nor do I try to be. My goals, and my true purpose in life and that’s to LIVE and LOVE the life I’m living. That should be a simple tool for each and one of us to use when referring to how we should live our lives. NO ONE IS COMING OUT ALIVE, so LIVE, and LOVE. I can guarantee you’ll appreciate your life much better. This of course comes to letting go of control, and your ego.

Go ahead and limit yourself, but how do you feel when you do, miserable right? It is okay to be cautious, but to do so in fear defeats the purpose of living. I cannot say how I choose to live is the best way, but no one can, because we are all different. The way that things may affect you and your body, may not do the same for someone else. Think about the different animal breeds we have, we are all not the same, we don’t all act, and react the same. This is one of the reasons why I choose to keep things as general, yet real as I can. We can all read the same book, but we will all gain something different from it. This is why I feel diversity is necessary, sharing and learning from each other is how we will evolve. Acting all high and mighty will make you miserable. Think about all the people who you believe is powerful, they are miserable. Think about the super conscious people, miserable, the poor, miserable, the rich people are miserable, the happy or the sad, and its understandable, trust me I get it. We live in a world that has allowed a lot of us to become miserable because of all the different shit we learn and observe, but it doesn’t mean to stop living. Don’t lose the human touch because you think you are God. No one is. We hold a special piece, and it is up to you on how you use that power, but don’t do it in misery. Instead do it out of love. There is a huge difference.

So, LIVE, beautifully, unapologetically, but not in misery. Remember just like the food we absorb, we absorb our feelings too, which is just as bad. Don’t forget about your feelings. Just like the food we eat to nourish our bodies, we have to nourish our feelings too. So keep that in mind. The body is our temple, but what about your mind, your soul, your destiny?

Limit yourself if you want, but remember LIFE is for the Living…

M0j0

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As I sit here….

With a sore butt!

I’m thinking about how important it is to check in with yourself. So many of of us are constantly on the go, and without breaks of really getting to check in with ourselves. I always think there is not enough time in the day, but the power that we have is to create the time we want! We have to make time for what’s really important, so never forget about yourself. You are as important as your daily tasks. In fact, you are more than important, you are loved, and those daily tasks wouldn’t even exist without you doing them. So you really have to learn to make yourself a priority, and take care of yourself first. Don’t be afraid to do so either dammit!

Take a step back, breathe, ask yourself questions, think of solutions, and be positive. It looks like you are already aware, because here you are. Obviously, we are here to grow, you know be adults and shit, yet you still need to do these “simple” yet rewarding things for yourself. Be S E L F I S H sometimes, it is okay, I promise! Have you noticed how lighter you feel when you do? This is why we need to check in with ourselves, we don’t realize what we are missing until it is missing, but it is never too late. Once you feel the need to slow down, it is the need to check in with yourself. Take a pause for the cause. Too many of us worry about the lives of others and lose the focus of our own. What a silly thing to do right? But also, what a wasteful thing to do. Take into consideration that when you are right with yourself everything else falls into place, simple yes, but truthful. What is meant for you will come on its own, and it is a beautiful thing to witness. Just remember how you are using your energy, and apply it accordingly. Be MindFULL! I know it is easy to forget, we are human and none of us are perfect. But what makes us beautiful is knowing that we are not, and yet we still strive to be the best we can be. Don’t lose your touch, EVER! 

So do your homework, or in this case SOULwork, and check in with yourself. How are you feeling? why, how, and what can we do to change it? or enhance it…. We are our own worst critics, but we can be our own best coaches too.

Learn and never stop growing! 

M0j0

Don’t Fight The Feeling!

Don’t Fight The Feeling!

Represent it, and ever so beautifully….

We all have those days where we feel as if everything we do is not working. Why do we stress ourselves out like this? We are so mean to ourselves, and then expect others to treat us nicely. I don’t get that. We seriously beat ourselves up to the point that we don’t realize it, and all of a sudden our lives is spent on that type of vibe. We need to stop fighting ourselves, and learn to take it easy. Life is hard enough, so why add more stress?

Don’t fight the feeling. It applies to us in many ways, some of us don’t want to feel a certain way so we fight it, expressing ourselves in ways others may not understand. Other people may not fight the feeling, and maybe they are unsure of their feelings, maybe they don’t have any feelings LOL. Whatever the case, it is about application, and becoming more aware of our intentions. I believe it is best to not fight the feeling, but instead put good use to it. Our feelings are what makes us human. When you become more aware of your feelings, you begin to shift, and with the shift comes more understanding. So don’t fight the feeling, just represent those feelings, productively.

It feels better to be doing something productive, than to beat yourself up about it, right? Remember, it is okay to feel. Be mad, get upset, cry, laugh out loud. Whatever the feeling is, go ahead and be human about it, but then find ways to be inspired by it. Our feelings are what makes us human, so why not embody that. It is okay, so don’t fight it, or shy away from it. Learn to embrace it, and in a loving motivating way, for you, or maybe someone else. Not fighting the feeling, is learning to feel without acting. And if you must, do so with the intent to make others feel. 

Let your feelings win the battle sometimes,

M0j0