What can do you when you tried every angle, and they still want to be difficult?

Let them, your peace is far more important.

It really boggles my mind when people feel they can let you go on their terms…. They discard you like trash and forget to treat you as a person…

And once again I’m reminded of how controlling some people can be….

You can’t do simple things with difficult people, because simply enough it has to be difficult in order for it to work for them. A person who is simple and easygoing is going to find solutions that follow or align with them. BUT a difficult person, well they thrive off of being difficult. It makes them feel alive.

In the video below I discuss a most recent situation between an ex-friend and I. Like other situations I’ve been in, it is important for me to be transparent and share my experiences as an empath, hsp, introvert, yogi, and self-love/self-care enthusiasts. In no shape or form am I asking for validation, nor seeking empathy from others. This is to share my story as someone who recently experienced a one-sided friendship.

We’ve known each other on and off for over 10 years. I’ve always viewed her as the fun friend, but didn’t really get to know her until the past few years. Through social media, we stayed in touch and would get together for music festivals, or events in SoCal. Randomly, we decided to move to Long Beach together, because we both really like it there. I had some doubts, as I’m sure anyone would have including her, but I still wanted to give it a chance and see where this would take me. I wanted to also give her a chance, because there’s been a few situations (mentioned in the video) that made me question our friendship in the past.

I knew she had selfish tendencies, but didn’t realize it also created control tendencies. After the lease, when I wanted to move last year, she would use her emotional crisis against me so I would feel bad for her. She knew how I was, and knew I wouldn’t leave her in a situation “as a friend”, so I began noticing her taking my kindness for weakness. I would ask for favors and began noticing different patterns. She would go over and beyond for those she’s trying to impress, or a man she likes, while she would give me excuses. And yet, I would still do things for her.

I eventually stepped back, and began distancing myself because I was feeling drained and disappointed in our friendship/roommate situation. I had to release those expectations, but at the same time it created frustration because of her laziness and inconsideration. I began noticing things, things that I didn’t agree with, but also things that were disturbing. Like her need for sexual dominance with men. Although, I wanted to move and expand my career. I was ready for a change. This had nothing to do with her, but she began taking everything personally.

I tried talking to her, but she would ignore me, not even give me eye contact. She was also being passive aggressive and started being mean to my dog. She would email PM (property management) saying I was being intrusive and a bully to her. I was confused, because I’m always in my room, and when I did try to sort things out with her, she ignored me, so I stopped talking to her. SHE was the one being difficult, SHE was the one trying to contact me after I had left! So again, I’d like to know how was I being anything, when she wouldn’t allow me to help her.

Even after the verbal insults, I still tried to help, but she acted as if I wasn’t there. I must say the level of disrespect bothered me, because it was as if I was nothing to her after all theses years of being “friends”. She has expressed that she doesn’t like change, nor doesn’t like feeling abandoned, and maybe I made her feel that way. However, how was I suppose to move? on her terms? When we were no longer under a lease?

No one can make you stay where you don’t want to stay!

There was a time where she almost moved with the guy she was dating at the time. I was happy for her, and supported her decision. However, I didn’t do this! The mind games, the passive aggressive silent treatments, the blame game, the manipulation… I didn’t do any of that to her. But realize no everyone thinks or acts like you, we are wired differently. There was a time where she told me she was going to rehome her dog. I quickly thought to myself, and just said ok, because I knew she wanted to get a reaction. Besides, why would you need to rehome your dog? Oh, is it because I will not be here to help you take care of him??

The games!

You can’t do simple things with difficult people, there will always be something because they need you and they hate that they need you. It can be your money, time, or simply your energy.

Stay away from the energy vampires!

Watch the video for more info and awareness, be careful the self-hate is real!

moj0