The love I have for you is so real, that it’s rare. I know, you sometimes feel a bit uneasy, intimidated even. But know that I love you, so there is nothing to fear. But what if there is? Would you be open to talk to me about it? Would you trust me enough to know that I care, and want what’s best for you. I love you, so don’t fear, just tell me how you really feel. I see how you look at me, I’m not a stranger, you and I are quite familiar. Different because of our own perception…. Have we failed to learn about one another as one and not as individuals? Because we are one, you and I. And you are not alone, ever. If you only knew the love I have for you is more than just a friend, a colleague, a lover, my fellow human. I root high for you, we can all win together. I know you can do this if you want, but you have to be open to love. If you only knew the love I have for you, maybe you wouldn’t judge. Is it too overwhelming for you? Let the overflow of my love carry along and release . Do you want it? Would you be able to handle it?
Are you living your life fearfully or are you fulfilled fully?
I don’t know about you, but so much has changed for me in the year, but I couldn’t be happier where I am now. It took a lot out of me to get here, but now that I am here, I’m not leaving.
My “here” is myself….. Doing things that make me feel coMpletE….
Realizing that changes take a lot of sacrifices, and redirecting your focus, A LOT not just a time or two. It is different. You are becoming different, so this requires doing things differently. It is so uncomfortable, but that’s okay, we embrace it…we must learn to.
Life is seriously like a roller coaster, the thrill can be scary, excited, unsure, etc. But we must still learn to enjoy the ride. Or like when you’re commuting somewhere for the first time, you never know how the traffic is going to be until you drive. Just buckle up and go. Ask yourself, are you living, or are you just alive? Check in with yourself sometimes, and know that it is okay to take that step back to check in. Often times we’re just coastin’, and floatin’ through the days and become burnt out from it. Pause, breathe….or breathe, stretch, shake, let it go LOL (music break). Anyhow, take a break from your tasks…Living is not just about working, creating, eating, cleaning, and what have you, sometimes you just need to chill and not do anything. Or maybe you need to hang out around other people, or maybe alone. Ask yourself what you need to do so you can learn to live life fully, and in that moment…don’ just float around, you are not a balloon.
Remind yourself of this daily, it takes practice, but maybe you’ll become more aware of this and learn to appreciate your days, or learn to make them better…You deserve the best after all right?
I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….
Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what?
This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries.
Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.
Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities.
Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,
Makes you think right? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable with the thought.
Well it shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable, because we are all different, duuuuhhh! I think a lot of people forget that. We are animals, and some of of us monsters, but that’s the beauty of diversity. Even though it scares some people, it still doesn’t make it okay to mistreat others. We all have to do better at accepting differences, this is the only way for us to come together. I get stares sometimes, and it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, yet I get curious to know what the person is thinking. It probably doesn’t matter to them on my work ethic, how passionate I am about helping others, my college degrees, sense of humor, or how loving of a person I am.
People right a way make assumptions, and those assumptions alter their behavior towards you. So unfair, I know. And then you hear well people are who they are. Well I say we need to stop excusing that type of behavior. If someone has a small, narrow mind, then I wouldn’t want to be bothered by them anyhow, so in away, they are saving me a headache, and maybe vice versa, who knows. This is still not a reason to mistreat people, and assume the worse from them. I mean people need to get out of their head sometimes, but old habits can be hard to break. We all need to practice thinking about our “why”. If there is a thought (negative, or positive) ask yourself why. Ask yourself why the other person makes you feel the way you do. Ask yourself if this is something your learned, and how you can unlearn this feeling. Face your fears by asking yourself questions, maybe questions you are afraid to answer….Challenge yourself.
Become friends with people who are different from you. It is a blessing, and you can truly learn from each other. I think it is important to start embracing more things than not. Life is too short to limit yourself, and this includes your thinking. Get out of the habit of thinking the worse, and began embracing the things you don’t understand. Give it patience, because the answers will come to you. And though there are different breeds of people on the world, we can only gravitate towards our own breed, but this doesn’t mean race, or culture, but more of a movement, a journey that you can share with others, and have open inviting arms.
Can we live? And allow others to live? That’ll always be the goal!
Just fight it. Whatever you are going through, fight through it. You may not be able to do anything about it now, but sometimes not doing anything is the best you can do. Not doing anything, sometimes, is a fight all on its own.
But what about the other end? You will, and you should do something about it. Having conversations about your fear is one of the most vulnerable things you can do. We all have fears, but a lot of us pretend not to. This makes some people shy about talking about their fears, and instead the fear bottles up inside them, and sometimes for a very long time. Understand it is okay to have fears, and most importantly, it is okay to talk about them. When you talk about your fears, you give yourself an opportunity to come up with a solution. Or maybe the person you’re speaking with can help you. Even if its just listening. Being able to express yourself is a way to fight through your fear, so don’t ever be afraid to open up.
Whenever someone talks to me about their fears, I ask them why? I always ask questions, because a lot of our fears are made up. We make excuses so we don’t have to take that huge step. But that huge step should be the number one reason why we should do it. Fight your fear through action. This means to STOP thinking so much of the “what ifs”, and just go for it. We must remind ourselves that we have this one life to live, so let’s make it count. You know what’s worse than fear? Regret. Think about your future and consider what type of thoughts you’d have looking back. Exactly. So make yourself proud. All it takes is ACTION.
Little steps are better than no steps, and there is nothing worse than waiting around for nothing. This goes to show you how much fear controls us. When you have the urge to do something, and a stronger urge to not do it, fight it, don’t let it control you. Literally look fear in the eyes and fight it. Get out of your head, because fear knows how to mess with you. The negative thoughts will be there regardless if you do it or not, but at least if you do it, you are more than halfway there. Fight it, the crippling and sickness side effects of the fear. Learn to turn that disease into motivation. Trust me.
Like anyone else, I too have a lot of fears, but I’ve allowed them to motivate me and not discourage me. We have enough of that going on in this world, so why must we add more to ourselves. Don’t allow yourself to become an enemy, instead be an enigma, something like an alter ego. Surprise yourself! Doing so will allow you to learn something new about yourself.
What better gift can you give yourself besides freedom?
Don’t be afraid.
Some of ya’ll really crack me up. You say all the bad things of the world, yet you still succumb to it in some way shape or form. You know why, because you are still Human, and not perfect, and will never be perfect. Whenever I see people like this, it makes me appreciate the person I am, because I’m not perfect, nor do I try to be. My goals, and my true purpose in life and that’s to LIVE and LOVE the life I’m living. That should be a simple tool for each and one of us to use when referring to how we should live our lives. NO ONE IS COMING OUT ALIVE, so LIVE, and LOVE. I can guarantee you’ll appreciate your life much better. This of course comes to letting go of control, and your ego.
Go ahead and limit yourself, but how do you feel when you do, miserable right? It is okay to be cautious, but to do so in fear defeats the purpose of living. I cannot say how I choose to live is the best way, but no one can, because we are all different. The way that things may affect you and your body, may not do the same for someone else. Think about the different animal breeds we have, we are all not the same, we don’t all act, and react the same. This is one of the reasons why I choose to keep things as general, yet real as I can. We can all read the same book, but we will all gain something different from it. This is why I feel diversity is necessary, sharing and learning from each other is how we will evolve. Acting all high and mighty will make you miserable. Think about all the people who you believe is powerful, they are miserable. Think about the super conscious people, miserable, the poor, miserable, the rich people are miserable, the happy or the sad, and its understandable, trust me I get it. We live in a world that has allowed a lot of us to become miserable because of all the different shit we learn and observe, but it doesn’t mean to stop living. Don’t lose the human touch because you think you are God. No one is. We hold a special piece, and it is up to you on how you use that power, but don’t do it in misery. Instead do it out of love. There is a huge difference.
So, LIVE, beautifully, unapologetically, but not in misery. Remember just like the food we absorb, we absorb our feelings too, which is just as bad. Don’t forget about your feelings. Just like the food we eat to nourish our bodies, we have to nourish our feelings too. So keep that in mind. The body is our temple, but what about your mind, your soul, your destiny?
Limit yourself if you want, but remember LIFE is for the Living…
Holy Chitpotle Guacamole y’all! It’s been 9 months (April 11th) since locking my hair, where is the time going?!?!?!?! I seriously almost forgot about this months update, but here I am. My babies are everything!!! I remember feeling a little anxious and nervous, a few months back, but as time went on, I don’t even think about it anymore. Me locking my hair, as I mentioned before, has opened my mind to other things. I don’t have time for my hair, because she doesn’t really require it, except washing and caring for her as usual, but not styling so much has helped me to work on other, more important things in my life right now. Maybe I can go a little deeper into that (using time wisely and such) but anyway…
I went swimming the first time with my locs about a week ago, at night, in a heated pool LOL. I honestly haven’t had that much fun in awhile. I didn’t worry about my locs one bit. They are at the point of no return. I was confident that my locs would be okay and they were.
My hair dried, in which I washed and conditioned the next day, and viola nothing bad happened. I’ve heard a few stories here and there on not swimming in chlorine water, but in all honesty, it didn’t quite make sense to me, so I ignored those stories, and did it for myself. I’m not going to allow anyone, nor my hair, limit me from having a little splish splash fun LOL. I still used the VO5 to wash (yeah yeah its cheap, but so am I, and being cheap ain’t hurt me one bit). I also used a protein conditioner from Mango & Lime (stuff smells pretty good too). I then allowed my locs to air dry, after applying a little bit of extra virgin olive oil to seal in the moisture.
My locs felt sooooo good. I always allow the water to soak for a while when I’m in the shower, and I’ll squeeze out the extra water before getting out. None of these steps changed really for me, except I don’t use as many products as I did before when I had my fro out. Another thing I’ve began using, well 2 times so far, is the interlocking tool for the loose strands near the bottom. I had a few locs that had small strands of hair peaking through the ends, and it was okay, but I kept messing with it out of the habit of thinking and tugging the hair. I had to hide these strands before I pulled them out. We all know to not disturb the loc by cutting the strands as it is still a part of the loc and I didn’t want to mess that up no way!
By the way, I still don’t twist/ palmroll every month, like I did in the very beginning. I believe twisting every other month to every other 2 months is working wonders for me so far…..
So there you have it, another brief update. I still can’t believe it’s been 9 months, we are getting closer to the year. I’m still debating on dying my locs, I want different colors however, but instead I’m just going to add some decor to them and wait it out until I know for sure. So we will see….
Stay tuned for the next update and happy locing 😛