He Said He Loves Me…

He Said He Loves Me…

Of course he did. And maybe he thought he did.

What does love mean to you? Maybe that’s what it was all along, and maybe we were both loving each other wrong.

We loved differently………

He said he misses me. And maybe he does.

But on the other hand all of that missing was the feeling I don’t miss when we once was.

It’s too late for all of the that, so he can miss me with the bullcrap. 

He said I was right. And I knew he would say that. They always do.

But it was never about being right or wrong, it was about being true…all along.

All the things he says to me now, doesn’t even matter now…..

I’ve always thought that was funny. The similarities of one wanting something so badly back then, and all of the sudden now the other.

It’s too late for all of that, so he can tell me he loves me, he can tell me he misses me, and that I was right all along…None of those sayings matter at this point, especially when you could have said back then.

Maybe those feelings weren’t valid then as they are now, but so are mine. I thought, and I’ve said a lot, but after time apart, I realized that I was right, and where I am now is where I belong.

Too bad you had to learn this way, but what more can I say…

Moj0

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Inhale, I Exhale/Excel…

Inhale, I Exhale/Excel…

I Feel Too Much, so I’d rather do. And I can’t quite describe it, it’s like a rabbit stuck in a hole, and suddenly it hops right out of it. I must do, because if I don’t the feelings will subdue, and I refuse to lose. Oh my God, the feelings are becoming stronger, I have to do something, otherwise it’ll turn into a big bother. I have to allow these feelings to guide me, what is my purpose? What are you trying to advise me? Inhale, I Exhale, I’m learning to take it all in. Inhale, I Excel, I knew this would happen, my intuition is my ultimate captain. I learn to trust myself more by ignoring the distractions. They are just there to disssssstract, and I’m not here for all of that. Inhale, I Exhale, I’m feeling a little better. Sometimes the feelings become so intense, I feel as if I’m under the weather. I’m not. I’m just in my feelings, trying to sort things out, trying to get the their meanings. Inhale, I Excel. I refuse to hold myself back. Anyone who knows me, knows that, so why would you expect me to allow you to do that? Inhale, I Exhale. I love, and I forgive. Continuously. Life is like that sometimes, you breathe in, taking it for what it is. You breathe out, letting the lessons of life flow about. Inhale…. now Exhale/Excel it all out. 

Moj0

If You Only Knew…

If You Only Knew…

The love I have for you is so real, that it’s rare. I know, you sometimes feel a bit uneasy, intimidated even. But know that I love you, so there is nothing to fear. But what if there is? Would you be open to talk to me about it? Would you trust me enough to know that I care, and want what’s best for you. I love you, so don’t fear, just tell me how you really feel. I see how you look at me, I’m not a stranger, you and I are quite familiar. Different because of our own perception…. Have we failed to learn about one another as one and not as individuals? Because we are one, you and I. And you are not alone, ever. If you only knew the love I have for you is more than just a friend, a colleague, a lover, my fellow human. I root high for you, we can all win together. I know you can do this if you want, but you have to be open to love. If you only knew the love I have for you, maybe you wouldn’t judge. Is it too overwhelming for you? Let the overflow of my love carry along and release . Do you want it? Would you be able to handle it? 

Ask Yourself…

Ask Yourself…

Are you living your life fearfully or are you fulfilled fully?

I don’t know about you, but so much has changed for me in the year, but I couldn’t be happier where I am now. It took a lot out of me to get here, but now that I am here, I’m not leaving.

My “here” is myself….. Doing things that make me feel coMpletE….

Realizing that changes take a lot of sacrifices, and redirecting your focus, A LOT not just a time or two. It is different. You are becoming different, so this requires doing things differently. It is so uncomfortable, but that’s okay, we embrace it…we must learn to.

Life is seriously like a roller coaster, the thrill can be scary, excited, unsure, etc. But we must still learn to enjoy the ride. Or like when you’re commuting somewhere for the first time, you never know how the traffic is going to be until you drive. Just buckle up and go. Ask yourself, are you living, or are you just alive? Check in with yourself sometimes, and know that it is okay to take that step back to check in. Often times we’re just coastin’, and floatin’ through the days and become burnt out from it. Pause, breathe….or breathe, stretch, shake, let it go LOL (music break). Anyhow, take a break from your tasks…Living is not just about working, creating, eating, cleaning, and what have you, sometimes you just need to chill and not do anything. Or maybe you need to hang out around other people, or maybe alone. Ask yourself what you need to do so you can learn to live life fully, and in that moment…don’ just float around, you are not a balloon.

Remind yourself of this daily, it takes practice, but maybe you’ll become more aware of this and learn to appreciate your days, or learn to make them better…You deserve the best after all right? 

M0j0

Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….

Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what? 

This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries. 

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Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.

Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities. 

Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,

M0j0

Happy 1 Year Anniversary To My Locs!

Happy 1 Year Anniversary To My Locs!

I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for my lil babies. I love all 76 of them (I think there’s 76) lol. I plan on counting them again, but anyways….My year was on July 11th. I remember it so clearly too! I’ve always wanted to loc my hair, but I wasn’t too sure on when, and of course you want to make sure you are ready. And I was that day. It was a sudden urge for me to do it and I just went for it!

Look at the progress (happy tears)

 

I must admit the length now is too much lol. I’ve always switched my hairstyles, but most of my favorite and convenient styles were worn short, so this is interesting yet I am happy to try something different. I don’t look forward to going back either, like I’ve said before I like my fro, but I love my locs. The convenience of it alone wins, because I can’t stand having to do my hair every day, especially as a personal trainer. Having a busy schedule works wonders when you’re not all up in your head all the time, and wash day is a breeze!

I still do not use a lot of product, and I wash once or twice a week, and not re-twisting each time either. To be honest, you don’t need to re twist on a schedule, just when you feel you really need it. On average, I probably re-twist every other month. I like the new growth, but when it’s time, you’ll now. You just have to listen to your hair. I still use the VO5 shampoo (clarifying shampoo) and conditioner. I like the VO5 conditioner because it is not thick, and more on the watery side. Now always keep in mind that a journey, is just that, and most importantly it is YOURS, so always do what works for you.

It’s nice to get advice, and ideas from others, but when you figure out something for you, it may or may not work for others. That’s okay, keep embracing your journey and continue to learn. This can go for anything! The focus though is on you, you’ll know what works, and you’ll know what you deserve. A journey for me, is actually about listening to yourself more, and not being moved by distractions or popularity. It’s about finding the pieces to a puzzle, putting them together, and making something beautiful from it….LIFE!

Have fun with it, and live your life happily!

Til next time,

M0j0

Different Breeds of People? Hmmm…

Different Breeds of People? Hmmm…

Makes you think right? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable with the thought.

Well it shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable, because we are all different, duuuuhhh! I think a lot of people forget that. We are animals, and some of of us monsters, but that’s the beauty of diversity. Even though it scares some people, it still doesn’t make it okay to mistreat others. We all have to do better at accepting differences, this is the only way for us to come together. I get stares sometimes, and it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, yet I get curious to know what the person is thinking. It probably doesn’t matter to them on my work ethic, how passionate I am about helping others, my college degrees, sense of humor, or how loving of a person I am.

People right a way make assumptions, and those assumptions alter their behavior towards you. So unfair, I know. And then you hear well people are who they are. Well I say we need to stop excusing that type of behavior. If someone has a small, narrow mind, then I wouldn’t want to be bothered by them anyhow, so in away, they are saving me a headache, and maybe vice versa, who knows. This is still not a reason to mistreat people, and assume the worse from them. I mean people need to get out of their head sometimes, but old habits can be hard to break. We all need to practice thinking about our “why”. If there is a thought (negative, or positive) ask yourself why. Ask yourself why the other person makes you feel the way you do. Ask yourself if this is something your learned, and how you can unlearn this feeling. Face your fears by asking yourself questions, maybe questions you are afraid to answer….Challenge yourself. 

Become friends with people who are different from you. It is a blessing, and you can truly learn from each other. I think it is important to start embracing more things than not. Life is too short to limit yourself, and this includes your thinking. Get out of the habit of thinking the worse, and began embracing the things you don’t understand. Give it patience, because the answers will come to you. And though there are different breeds of people on the world, we can only gravitate towards our own breed, but this doesn’t mean race, or culture, but more of a movement, a journey that you can share with others, and have open inviting arms.

Can we live? And allow others to live? That’ll always be the goal! 

M0j0