Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

FeaturedLearn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….

Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what? 

This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries. 

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Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.

Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities. 

Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,

M0j0

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Your Passion Is Your Calling

FeaturedYour Passion Is Your Calling

Take a pause and think of what you’re good at. Now think of how you can incorporate that into your daily life. Now this passion does not have to be a part of your job, it can be something like a hobby. But whatever it is let it call you, and answer it.

I previously wrote about distractions, and how it limits us from our actions, and this is pretty much like your passion trying to call you, but you keep declining the call, so it leaves you a message, and you still don’t return its call. Don’t allow time to pass you by so much that you’re missing out. Not necessarily on opportunities, but more so on  life. LIVE a little 😛

Tap in to what you’re good at, because it is not just about you, but instead the bigger picture. INFLUENCE! I was thinking the other day about how much I enjoy making an impact on people. Helping them, encouraging them, making them laugh, think, and feel good overall. This is something I’m good at. I’ve always been the light of a dark day, and this has always been a natural thing, but as I become older, I’m learning that not everyone enjoy this LOL. Making people feel good draws them closer to you because it is warm, non-judgmental bonding type of vibe, and you can’t get that everywhere. However, there are people who are not use to that type of treatment, so it makes them feel a little uncomfortable when you try to LIGHTen them up. That use to bother me, that they were bothered with my positivity, but then I realized that many people are not use to that. Some people thrive when negativity strikes, and that has nothing to do with you. But don’t allow that to distract you, keep driving and digging to your calling. 

Don’t allow your passion to become dampened because of what, or who is around you. This can be tricky, and damn right discouraging, but instead allow your passion to call you more, put that ringer on blast! When I say tap into your passion, I’m thinking intensely so, making it a part of your life, period! We all have all daily tasks and habits, but imagine how greater it is to include your passion into it. I bet you’d have a better day, or make someone else’s day better. If you like singing, then sing! any chance you get, and feel good about doing it too. Tap in to it more, by making time for it, because you want to. It begins with your mindset, and wanting to do something is better than having to do it. Don’t turn your passion into a chore. We already have enough going on as humans, so don’t make your passion a burden. Even if you become tied up with your responsibilities, make some type of effort to tap in. For example, I’ll carry a journal around so I can write, or sometimes in my phone. Doing this makes room for me to still enjoy making others feel good, while making myself feel good in the process. You want your passion to create balance to better serve you and others around you. It is your world. 

To be good at anything, you must practice it, so you can master it!

M0j0 

Different Breeds of People? Hmmm…

Different Breeds of People? Hmmm…

Makes you think right? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable with the thought.

Well it shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable, because we are all different, duuuuhhh! I think a lot of people forget that. We are animals, and some of of us monsters, but that’s the beauty of diversity. Even though it scares some people, it still doesn’t make it okay to mistreat others. We all have to do better at accepting differences, this is the only way for us to come together. I get stares sometimes, and it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, yet I get curious to know what the person is thinking. It probably doesn’t matter to them on my work ethic, how passionate I am about helping others, my college degrees, sense of humor, or how loving of a person I am.

People right a way make assumptions, and those assumptions alter their behavior towards you. So unfair, I know. And then you hear well people are who they are. Well I say we need to stop excusing that type of behavior. If someone has a small, narrow mind, then I wouldn’t want to be bothered by them anyhow, so in away, they are saving me a headache, and maybe vice versa, who knows. This is still not a reason to mistreat people, and assume the worse from them. I mean people need to get out of their head sometimes, but old habits can be hard to break. We all need to practice thinking about our “why”. If there is a thought (negative, or positive) ask yourself why. Ask yourself why the other person makes you feel the way you do. Ask yourself if this is something your learned, and how you can unlearn this feeling. Face your fears by asking yourself questions, maybe questions you are afraid to answer….Challenge yourself. 

Become friends with people who are different from you. It is a blessing, and you can truly learn from each other. I think it is important to start embracing more things than not. Life is too short to limit yourself, and this includes your thinking. Get out of the habit of thinking the worse, and began embracing the things you don’t understand. Give it patience, because the answers will come to you. And though there are different breeds of people on the world, we can only gravitate towards our own breed, but this doesn’t mean race, or culture, but more of a movement, a journey that you can share with others, and have open inviting arms.

Can we live? And allow others to live? That’ll always be the goal! 

M0j0

It’s Pretty F*ck*d Up

It’s Pretty F*ck*d Up

When you really sit down and think about it…..

It’s crazy when you seem like the type of person to do anything for anyone, and yet you don’t receive the same back. This can go for any type of relationship. But for now, I am speaking about intimate relationships. At 30, I am more aware of my desires than I was 5+ years ago, and now that I am single, I am more focused on not having a relationship. However, what has never changed is my effort towards someone when I really like them. This is where the f*ck*ry begins though. When the feelings aren’t mutual to begin with, one of course puts in more effort than the other, and it just amazes me how the other gets away with it not doing the same. But to be honest, that is a nasty attitude to have. You are not supposed to do things for something equal or better in return, but at the same time, it is the effort that makes the difference. You can’t make them understand, because the problem, from the very beginning, was that it was never a match to begin with. This is something to pay attention to, from the beginning, and don’t let it slide, because it’ll only get worse.

But because you are the type of person to put in effort, in everything you do, you tried to succeed at something that wasn’t meant to happen, and you know that. Congratulations…..You played ya’ self (as DJ Khaled says lol). I think we sometimes get lost in the game of winning, so you don’t want to give up so easily. And that is understandable. However, you’ll end up hurting yourself. You see the potential, but their potential is not the same as someone already “having it together” like yourself. So this is why it is important to really know yourself and be with someone who truly compliments that. I’ll take my time, even if it is forever, because the best love you’ll ever receive is from yourself anyhow, and you deserve that and more. So love yourself this time…..More!

Imagine if more people were like that. We would have a stronger sense of self, not worried about other peoples lives, drama, belongings, status. You know, not so “social media”, we wouldn’t, compare, and instead be more inspired. Well only in a perfect world, and we are not perfect, we are all trying to figure things out and that’s why we’re here. To try, learn, and share…sounds simple, but here we are, still complicated….

LOL!

M0J0

Fighting Through Fear.

FeaturedFighting Through Fear.

Just fight it. Whatever you are going through, fight through it. You may not be able to do anything about it now, but sometimes not doing anything is the best you can do. Not doing anything, sometimes, is a fight all on its own.

But what about the other end? You will, and you should do something about it. Having conversations about your fear is one of the most vulnerable things you can do. We all have fears, but a lot of us pretend not to. This makes some people shy about talking about their fears, and instead the fear bottles up inside them, and sometimes for a very long time. Understand it is okay to have fears, and most importantly, it is okay to talk about them. When you talk about your fears, you give yourself an opportunity to come up with a solution. Or maybe the person you’re speaking with can help you. Even if its just listening. Being able to express yourself is a way to fight through your fear, so don’t ever be afraid to open up.

Whenever someone talks to me about their fears, I ask them why? I always ask questions, because a lot of our fears are made up. We make excuses so we don’t have to take that huge step. But that huge step should be the number one reason why we should do it. Fight your fear through action. This means to STOP thinking so much of the “what ifs”, and just go for it. We must remind ourselves that we have this one life to live, so let’s make it count. You know what’s worse than fear? Regret. Think about your future and consider what type of thoughts you’d have looking back. Exactly. So make yourself proud. All it takes is ACTION.

Little steps are better than no steps, and there is nothing worse than waiting around for nothing. This goes to show you how much fear controls us. When you have the urge to do something, and a stronger urge to not do it, fight it, don’t let it control you. Literally look fear in the eyes and fight it. Get out of your head, because fear knows how to mess with you. The negative thoughts will be there regardless if you do it or not, but at least if you do it, you are more than halfway there. Fight it, the crippling and sickness side effects of the fear. Learn to turn that disease into motivation. Trust me.

Like anyone else, I too have a lot of fears, but I’ve allowed them to motivate me and not discourage me. We have enough of that going on in this world, so why must we add more to ourselves. Don’t allow yourself to become an enemy, instead be an enigma, something like an alter ego. Surprise yourself! Doing so will allow you to learn something new about yourself.

What better gift can you give yourself besides freedom?

Don’t be afraid.

M0j0

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Pay Attention & Take Note…

Not everyone sees the things you see, and maybe they’re not suppose to. You see things for a reason, and yes it is unclear sometimes on why you see it, but use what you see to your advantage to help yourself, and others. You ever do something for someone, or see something and thought “why did I have to see that?” or why did this happen? I like to look at these incidents as a shift coming into action. Pay close attention to these circumstances. Sometimes, I feel that random things happen to prepare us for the next step of our journey. You have to learn to use these opportunities as a a way to learn. This can either be for your advantage, or maybe for someone else. Just pay attention.

The answer might be right in front of you, or maybe a question will pop in your head, but whatever the case is, if you pay close attention you’ll discover something you may have not discovered before. Take notice to these things, behaviors of others, and what they say and how they say it. It can be anywhere, and anyone, but you paying attention is being thoughtful about the situation. Exercise your thoughts! too many of us are not fully utilizing our brain. This doesn’t mean you have to come up with a solution, it just means to think, more so exercising your mind to become more mindful. Sounds simple right? Our way of thinking triggers from our habits. We become so use to thinking a certain way, or not thinking at all.

This creates issues, such as misunderstanding others, or ourselves, jumping into conclusions, and just plain thinking you know everything. We all do not have the answers, yet we should be open-minded into thinking about the possibilities. There can be more than one right or wrong answer, or solutions, yet we have to learn to expand the way we think. Once we have mastered this, we can expand our way of doing other things. Think about it. You learn to master the way you think, and began paying attention more, and then become more open and even wiser about your actions. 

The more you pay attention, the more you create for yourself, but you have to put in the work. It takes practice, and all of us can enhance our way of thinking, and being.

Take it one day at a time, and consider the new things you notice when you pay close attention.

Any new thoughts?

M0j0

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The Power Of “Speaking It Into Existence” pt.1 (Beginning With Our Thinking)

We have to get out of the habit of negative self talk. Seriously, why do we set ourselves up for failure? Don’t you get sick of it? 

Think about it, and consider how it’s been working for you, the negative talk, because in all honesty where has it gotten you? I’ve got to the point of ignoring the negative thoughts, wait let me back up a bit. I listen to the thought, but ask myself why? Then I ask myself why not, because you don’t want those thoughts to hinder your progress, right. Yeah, whatever change you’re going through is going to be challenging, but we know that we have to challenge ourselves to change. This is the only way out. Stop giving yourself excuses, this of course is another way to distract yourself from what you should be doing. 

I believe we all do this, some more or less than others, but it is a habit that we all need to work on. Nobody is perfect, we will always encounter negative, or other random thoughts, but it is important to recognize it and be careful on how you speak on it. This is for anything, yourself, others, opportunities, etc. The focus is to speak things into existence that will help you get to the next step, and it obviously involves the way we react to our thinking. Be MINDFUL, ask yourself questions and don’t be afraid to dissect your own thoughts. So many people have the answers for others, without being aware of their damn selves. Don’t be that person, figure out what it is you can do to improve yourself. It is never too late to improve something. You already have it, you just need to go get it.  

Remember you deserve the best, so treat yourself with the respect you deserve. Thinking positively is an exercise, so this is just a reminder that you are worthy.

Think of more solutions, and begin preparing yourself for the week ahead. Baby steps. Think it and speak it into existence. Good, you are being more proactive than you think.

Take care, 

M0jo