Ask Yourself…

Ask Yourself…

Are you living your life fearfully or are you fulfilled fully?

I don’t know about you, but so much has changed for me in the year, but I couldn’t be happier where I am now. It took a lot out of me to get here, but now that I am here, I’m not leaving.

My “here” is myself….. Doing things that make me feel coMpletE….

Realizing that changes take a lot of sacrifices, and redirecting your focus, A LOT not just a time or two. It is different. You are becoming different, so this requires doing things differently. It is so uncomfortable, but that’s okay, we embrace it…we must learn to.

Life is seriously like a roller coaster, the thrill can be scary, excited, unsure, etc. But we must still learn to enjoy the ride. Or like when you’re commuting somewhere for the first time, you never know how the traffic is going to be until you drive. Just buckle up and go. Ask yourself, are you living, or are you just alive? Check in with yourself sometimes, and know that it is okay to take that step back to check in. Often times we’re just coastin’, and floatin’ through the days and become burnt out from it. Pause, breathe….or breathe, stretch, shake, let it go LOL (music break). Anyhow, take a break from your tasks…Living is not just about working, creating, eating, cleaning, and what have you, sometimes you just need to chill and not do anything. Or maybe you need to hang out around other people, or maybe alone. Ask yourself what you need to do so you can learn to live life fully, and in that moment…don’ just float around, you are not a balloon.

Remind yourself of this daily, it takes practice, but maybe you’ll become more aware of this and learn to appreciate your days, or learn to make them better…You deserve the best after all right? 

M0j0

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Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….

Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what? 

This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries. 

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Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.

Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities. 

Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,

M0j0

Your Passion Is Your Calling

Your Passion Is Your Calling

Take a pause and think of what you’re good at. Now think of how you can incorporate that into your daily life. Now this passion does not have to be a part of your job, it can be something like a hobby. But whatever it is let it call you, and answer it.

I previously wrote about distractions, and how it limits us from our actions, and this is pretty much like your passion trying to call you, but you keep declining the call, so it leaves you a message, and you still don’t return its call. Don’t allow time to pass you by so much that you’re missing out. Not necessarily on opportunities, but more so on  life. LIVE a little 😛

Tap in to what you’re good at, because it is not just about you, but instead the bigger picture. INFLUENCE! I was thinking the other day about how much I enjoy making an impact on people. Helping them, encouraging them, making them laugh, think, and feel good overall. This is something I’m good at. I’ve always been the light of a dark day, and this has always been a natural thing, but as I become older, I’m learning that not everyone enjoy this LOL. Making people feel good draws them closer to you because it is warm, non-judgmental bonding type of vibe, and you can’t get that everywhere. However, there are people who are not use to that type of treatment, so it makes them feel a little uncomfortable when you try to LIGHTen them up. That use to bother me, that they were bothered with my positivity, but then I realized that many people are not use to that. Some people thrive when negativity strikes, and that has nothing to do with you. But don’t allow that to distract you, keep driving and digging to your calling. 

Don’t allow your passion to become dampened because of what, or who is around you. This can be tricky, and damn right discouraging, but instead allow your passion to call you more, put that ringer on blast! When I say tap into your passion, I’m thinking intensely so, making it a part of your life, period! We all have all daily tasks and habits, but imagine how greater it is to include your passion into it. I bet you’d have a better day, or make someone else’s day better. If you like singing, then sing! any chance you get, and feel good about doing it too. Tap in to it more, by making time for it, because you want to. It begins with your mindset, and wanting to do something is better than having to do it. Don’t turn your passion into a chore. We already have enough going on as humans, so don’t make your passion a burden. Even if you become tied up with your responsibilities, make some type of effort to tap in. For example, I’ll carry a journal around so I can write, or sometimes in my phone. Doing this makes room for me to still enjoy making others feel good, while making myself feel good in the process. You want your passion to create balance to better serve you and others around you. It is your world. 

To be good at anything, you must practice it, so you can master it!

M0j0 

Different Breeds of People? Hmmm…

Different Breeds of People? Hmmm…

Makes you think right? Or does it make you feel uncomfortable with the thought.

Well it shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable, because we are all different, duuuuhhh! I think a lot of people forget that. We are animals, and some of of us monsters, but that’s the beauty of diversity. Even though it scares some people, it still doesn’t make it okay to mistreat others. We all have to do better at accepting differences, this is the only way for us to come together. I get stares sometimes, and it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, yet I get curious to know what the person is thinking. It probably doesn’t matter to them on my work ethic, how passionate I am about helping others, my college degrees, sense of humor, or how loving of a person I am.

People right a way make assumptions, and those assumptions alter their behavior towards you. So unfair, I know. And then you hear well people are who they are. Well I say we need to stop excusing that type of behavior. If someone has a small, narrow mind, then I wouldn’t want to be bothered by them anyhow, so in away, they are saving me a headache, and maybe vice versa, who knows. This is still not a reason to mistreat people, and assume the worse from them. I mean people need to get out of their head sometimes, but old habits can be hard to break. We all need to practice thinking about our “why”. If there is a thought (negative, or positive) ask yourself why. Ask yourself why the other person makes you feel the way you do. Ask yourself if this is something your learned, and how you can unlearn this feeling. Face your fears by asking yourself questions, maybe questions you are afraid to answer….Challenge yourself. 

Become friends with people who are different from you. It is a blessing, and you can truly learn from each other. I think it is important to start embracing more things than not. Life is too short to limit yourself, and this includes your thinking. Get out of the habit of thinking the worse, and began embracing the things you don’t understand. Give it patience, because the answers will come to you. And though there are different breeds of people on the world, we can only gravitate towards our own breed, but this doesn’t mean race, or culture, but more of a movement, a journey that you can share with others, and have open inviting arms.

Can we live? And allow others to live? That’ll always be the goal! 

M0j0

It’s Pretty F*ck*d Up

It’s Pretty F*ck*d Up

When you really sit down and think about it…..

It’s crazy when you seem like the type of person to do anything for anyone, and yet you don’t receive the same back. This can go for any type of relationship. But for now, I am speaking about intimate relationships. At 30, I am more aware of my desires than I was 5+ years ago, and now that I am single, I am more focused on not having a relationship. However, what has never changed is my effort towards someone when I really like them. This is where the f*ck*ry begins though. When the feelings aren’t mutual to begin with, one of course puts in more effort than the other, and it just amazes me how the other gets away with it not doing the same. But to be honest, that is a nasty attitude to have. You are not supposed to do things for something equal or better in return, but at the same time, it is the effort that makes the difference. You can’t make them understand, because the problem, from the very beginning, was that it was never a match to begin with. This is something to pay attention to, from the beginning, and don’t let it slide, because it’ll only get worse.

But because you are the type of person to put in effort, in everything you do, you tried to succeed at something that wasn’t meant to happen, and you know that. Congratulations…..You played ya’ self (as DJ Khaled says lol). I think we sometimes get lost in the game of winning, so you don’t want to give up so easily. And that is understandable. However, you’ll end up hurting yourself. You see the potential, but their potential is not the same as someone already “having it together” like yourself. So this is why it is important to really know yourself and be with someone who truly compliments that. I’ll take my time, even if it is forever, because the best love you’ll ever receive is from yourself anyhow, and you deserve that and more. So love yourself this time…..More!

Imagine if more people were like that. We would have a stronger sense of self, not worried about other peoples lives, drama, belongings, status. You know, not so “social media”, we wouldn’t, compare, and instead be more inspired. Well only in a perfect world, and we are not perfect, we are all trying to figure things out and that’s why we’re here. To try, learn, and share…sounds simple, but here we are, still complicated….

LOL!

M0J0

Fighting Through Fear.

FeaturedFighting Through Fear.

Just fight it. Whatever you are going through, fight through it. You may not be able to do anything about it now, but sometimes not doing anything is the best you can do. Not doing anything, sometimes, is a fight all on its own.

But what about the other end? You will, and you should do something about it. Having conversations about your fear is one of the most vulnerable things you can do. We all have fears, but a lot of us pretend not to. This makes some people shy about talking about their fears, and instead the fear bottles up inside them, and sometimes for a very long time. Understand it is okay to have fears, and most importantly, it is okay to talk about them. When you talk about your fears, you give yourself an opportunity to come up with a solution. Or maybe the person you’re speaking with can help you. Even if its just listening. Being able to express yourself is a way to fight through your fear, so don’t ever be afraid to open up.

Whenever someone talks to me about their fears, I ask them why? I always ask questions, because a lot of our fears are made up. We make excuses so we don’t have to take that huge step. But that huge step should be the number one reason why we should do it. Fight your fear through action. This means to STOP thinking so much of the “what ifs”, and just go for it. We must remind ourselves that we have this one life to live, so let’s make it count. You know what’s worse than fear? Regret. Think about your future and consider what type of thoughts you’d have looking back. Exactly. So make yourself proud. All it takes is ACTION.

Little steps are better than no steps, and there is nothing worse than waiting around for nothing. This goes to show you how much fear controls us. When you have the urge to do something, and a stronger urge to not do it, fight it, don’t let it control you. Literally look fear in the eyes and fight it. Get out of your head, because fear knows how to mess with you. The negative thoughts will be there regardless if you do it or not, but at least if you do it, you are more than halfway there. Fight it, the crippling and sickness side effects of the fear. Learn to turn that disease into motivation. Trust me.

Like anyone else, I too have a lot of fears, but I’ve allowed them to motivate me and not discourage me. We have enough of that going on in this world, so why must we add more to ourselves. Don’t allow yourself to become an enemy, instead be an enigma, something like an alter ego. Surprise yourself! Doing so will allow you to learn something new about yourself.

What better gift can you give yourself besides freedom?

Don’t be afraid.

M0j0

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As I sit here….

With a sore butt!

I’m thinking about how important it is to check in with yourself. So many of of us are constantly on the go, and without breaks of really getting to check in with ourselves. I always think there is not enough time in the day, but the power that we have is to create the time we want! We have to make time for what’s really important, so never forget about yourself. You are as important as your daily tasks. In fact, you are more than important, you are loved, and those daily tasks wouldn’t even exist without you doing them. So you really have to learn to make yourself a priority, and take care of yourself first. Don’t be afraid to do so either dammit!

Take a step back, breathe, ask yourself questions, think of solutions, and be positive. It looks like you are already aware, because here you are. Obviously, we are here to grow, you know be adults and shit, yet you still need to do these “simple” yet rewarding things for yourself. Be S E L F I S H sometimes, it is okay, I promise! Have you noticed how lighter you feel when you do? This is why we need to check in with ourselves, we don’t realize what we are missing until it is missing, but it is never too late. Once you feel the need to slow down, it is the need to check in with yourself. Take a pause for the cause. Too many of us worry about the lives of others and lose the focus of our own. What a silly thing to do right? But also, what a wasteful thing to do. Take into consideration that when you are right with yourself everything else falls into place, simple yes, but truthful. What is meant for you will come on its own, and it is a beautiful thing to witness. Just remember how you are using your energy, and apply it accordingly. Be MindFULL! I know it is easy to forget, we are human and none of us are perfect. But what makes us beautiful is knowing that we are not, and yet we still strive to be the best we can be. Don’t lose your touch, EVER! 

So do your homework, or in this case SOULwork, and check in with yourself. How are you feeling? why, how, and what can we do to change it? or enhance it…. We are our own worst critics, but we can be our own best coaches too.

Learn and never stop growing! 

M0j0