Learn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

FeaturedLearn To Date Yourself (Be Your Own Boyfriend/Girlfriend)

I’ve been working on “my bad habits”, and one of them is to not go from one relationship to another. Instead, I’m learning to have a relationship with myself. It’s been awhile to be honest, and it makes me think how much I’ve lost myself being around the wrong people. You wouldn’t lose yourself around the right ones, so that’s why it is important to really learn about yourself, and this includes having a relationship with yourself, first….

Put YOUrself first. This means your priorities, feelings, morals, values, instincts, etc. Whatever is a part of you, shall come first before anyone else’s. Learn to separate that from others. Learn to accept that your responsibility is about YOU. Learn to be a little more selfish. This will eventually allow you to become selfless, when the time is right, and with the right people. Don’t go against the timing of your SelfLove, always have this on the top of your list. Your self love is the ultimate importance of your vision. The other day I posted on IG and explained how it is important to treat yourself, take yourself out, and really begin doing things that you enjoy, even if its alone. One of the other trainers, and myself, was talking about how there is this stigma of having to do things in the company of others, and how we need to change this type of mentality. Why do, why wait, why not? Why do we do this to ourselves? We miss out on opportunities because of the company of someone else. We need to be a bit more assertive to our needs, wants, desires, and we need to be in more control of how we want to approach these things. We only miss out because of ourselves. We don’t need to put that responsibility on someone else, and for what? 

This brings the point to learn to date yourself. Act as if you are the boyfriend/girlfriend of whom you desire, and treat yourself as so. Put that responsibility of being there emotionally, physically, mentally, to yourself. Put the responsibility of support, love, creativity, inspiration, and really motivate yourself as if you are not yourself, know what I mean… Learn about yourself as if you are really dating yourself, get to know yourself a little bit more. I’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I love it. I’m learning so much about myself that I haven’t realized some of myself before. It is new, and a bit tricky, but keep practicing, and keep yourself busy. When you begin feeling discouraged, use that time to take a break. Unwind, unplug, undo, wherever you are, just unYOU yourself and take a timeout. We can’t expect to go on full speed all the time, and we have to take a break sometimes so we can charge. Just like our phones, you know. Learn to charge your batteries. 

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Do something different! When I feel like I’m in a funk, or feel discouraged, or maybe a bit overwhelmed, I’ll find something different to do, even if it doesn’t require much. Think of this as a time to go on an adventure. Walk at a new park, read a new book, take yourself out on a date to a place where you haven’t ate before. Or do nothing, and relax.

Give yourself time to really figure YOU out, this will take time, but actually take the time by applying a little more effort into yourself and well-being. You’ll learn more about yourself, and begin admiring others who share these commonalities. 

Practice, Patience, and Perseverance,

M0j0

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Your Passion Is Your Calling

FeaturedYour Passion Is Your Calling

Take a pause and think of what you’re good at. Now think of how you can incorporate that into your daily life. Now this passion does not have to be a part of your job, it can be something like a hobby. But whatever it is let it call you, and answer it.

I previously wrote about distractions, and how it limits us from our actions, and this is pretty much like your passion trying to call you, but you keep declining the call, so it leaves you a message, and you still don’t return its call. Don’t allow time to pass you by so much that you’re missing out. Not necessarily on opportunities, but more so on  life. LIVE a little 😛

Tap in to what you’re good at, because it is not just about you, but instead the bigger picture. INFLUENCE! I was thinking the other day about how much I enjoy making an impact on people. Helping them, encouraging them, making them laugh, think, and feel good overall. This is something I’m good at. I’ve always been the light of a dark day, and this has always been a natural thing, but as I become older, I’m learning that not everyone enjoy this LOL. Making people feel good draws them closer to you because it is warm, non-judgmental bonding type of vibe, and you can’t get that everywhere. However, there are people who are not use to that type of treatment, so it makes them feel a little uncomfortable when you try to LIGHTen them up. That use to bother me, that they were bothered with my positivity, but then I realized that many people are not use to that. Some people thrive when negativity strikes, and that has nothing to do with you. But don’t allow that to distract you, keep driving and digging to your calling. 

Don’t allow your passion to become dampened because of what, or who is around you. This can be tricky, and damn right discouraging, but instead allow your passion to call you more, put that ringer on blast! When I say tap into your passion, I’m thinking intensely so, making it a part of your life, period! We all have all daily tasks and habits, but imagine how greater it is to include your passion into it. I bet you’d have a better day, or make someone else’s day better. If you like singing, then sing! any chance you get, and feel good about doing it too. Tap in to it more, by making time for it, because you want to. It begins with your mindset, and wanting to do something is better than having to do it. Don’t turn your passion into a chore. We already have enough going on as humans, so don’t make your passion a burden. Even if you become tied up with your responsibilities, make some type of effort to tap in. For example, I’ll carry a journal around so I can write, or sometimes in my phone. Doing this makes room for me to still enjoy making others feel good, while making myself feel good in the process. You want your passion to create balance to better serve you and others around you. It is your world. 

To be good at anything, you must practice it, so you can master it!

M0j0 

It’s Pretty F*ck*d Up

It’s Pretty F*ck*d Up

When you really sit down and think about it…..

It’s crazy when you seem like the type of person to do anything for anyone, and yet you don’t receive the same back. This can go for any type of relationship. But for now, I am speaking about intimate relationships. At 30, I am more aware of my desires than I was 5+ years ago, and now that I am single, I am more focused on not having a relationship. However, what has never changed is my effort towards someone when I really like them. This is where the f*ck*ry begins though. When the feelings aren’t mutual to begin with, one of course puts in more effort than the other, and it just amazes me how the other gets away with it not doing the same. But to be honest, that is a nasty attitude to have. You are not supposed to do things for something equal or better in return, but at the same time, it is the effort that makes the difference. You can’t make them understand, because the problem, from the very beginning, was that it was never a match to begin with. This is something to pay attention to, from the beginning, and don’t let it slide, because it’ll only get worse.

But because you are the type of person to put in effort, in everything you do, you tried to succeed at something that wasn’t meant to happen, and you know that. Congratulations…..You played ya’ self (as DJ Khaled says lol). I think we sometimes get lost in the game of winning, so you don’t want to give up so easily. And that is understandable. However, you’ll end up hurting yourself. You see the potential, but their potential is not the same as someone already “having it together” like yourself. So this is why it is important to really know yourself and be with someone who truly compliments that. I’ll take my time, even if it is forever, because the best love you’ll ever receive is from yourself anyhow, and you deserve that and more. So love yourself this time…..More!

Imagine if more people were like that. We would have a stronger sense of self, not worried about other peoples lives, drama, belongings, status. You know, not so “social media”, we wouldn’t, compare, and instead be more inspired. Well only in a perfect world, and we are not perfect, we are all trying to figure things out and that’s why we’re here. To try, learn, and share…sounds simple, but here we are, still complicated….

LOL!

M0J0

Money Makes The World Go Around,

But love will always make life worth living…

Money and love is what most of us want in life. But ultimately, it seems like we cannot have both, equally anyhow. We all think that these two will solve our problems, but sometimes these are the same two things that create them. We have to be more thoughtful into what we are putting in to our world. Sure money pays for a living, but love makes us feel like we are living. We have to learn to set aside the material to what truly matters. We all want, yet do we truly cater to our needs and those around us? Money can be just as blind as being in love, and combine the two we have paradise, or maybe a disaster. Be intentional when it comes to these life changers. Many of use don’t realize how we perceive money and love, so think about it and ask yourself. You can always make money, and from anything these days. But love, we need to be more careful, and in tuned with ourselves. Money comes and goes, but love will forever stay in your soul.

Just make it worthwhile.

Stop Pressuring Yourself…

Don’t be so mean.

You make these goals, just so you feel accomplished. But still, that wasn’t enough. You get more than one job, and take on any hobby that comes your way, and still it is not enough. Have you really thought to yourself why, or if you actually like these things. Or are you too busy trying to keep up with everyone else, by ignoring your true self.

Exhausting to think about right. It’s a word I use quite often, I think, exhausting… because a lot of “things” are meaningless if they lack feeling, and for me that is exhausting. I feel like it is important to try things, at least once, well depending on what it is. Coordinating different things in any part of your journey can be fun, and we should not pressure ourselves so much. We need to learn to flow with it…Go….With….The…Flow…as they say, ya know. This is something quite new to some of us, but ever get tired of that, putting so much pressure on yourself? It’s time for something new.

Sometimes you gotta let your goals accomplish themselves. You’ve already put in the work, so leave it alone. Step back sometimes, and let that shit marinate. Like a tender steak. You have to learn to give yourself time, and not think that results are going to happen as you please. The universe works wonders, but that’s just it. LET IT! Don’t be too busy wondering, just do and know that it is already yours.

Take it easy…

M0j0

The Withdrawals Of Break-Ups

The Withdrawals Of Break-Ups

Are you still feeling hungover from the last love? yeah me too….

We all know it’s for the best, it is what it was, but now what? For one, be grateful for the friendship because it makes it easier, but any change is scary, especially when it will be without that significant other. It’s for the best, and we all know it, but it still hurts. It still hurts knowing that the person you were with for the last five years will not be there in your future, and you not in theirs. It still hurts thinking back on all the times that could’ve been, but has never been, and never will. You don’t ever want to think of your relationships as time wasted, because that wouldn’t be fair. You invested so much time and energy, I’m sure you learned something. And if you didn’t, why haven’t you?

You must’ve learned something, or you’re just going to keep having these types of relationships, and we don’t want that. Allow the hurt and pain to hit, it is okay to feel this way. I’d think something would be wrong if you’re not experiencing these withdrawals. It’s different. To be honest it’s a b*tch! You wake up sometimes feeling sick to your stomach. It’s not that you didn’t sleep good, it’s just that empty feeling, a reminder that you’re waking up alone, and no longer next to the person. This does not mean you necessarily miss them, but instead “it” the feeling of being next to someone. Speaking of empty, this is exactly how the mind becomes, empty and sorta shocked, like you can’t focus. You’re still processing everything, and it will take time, so don’t beat yourself up for feeling the feels.

Now don’t get me wrong, this can happen to any type of relationship, not just a romantic one. When you stop associating yourself with some people, you either begin feeling lighter or heavy, but in the process the change is what determines if you’ll be going back to them or not. Some of us don’t allow enough time for it to process, and you have to. Time is our friend, so take advantage.

And then what? Your appetite gets out of whack! Sometimes you feel like eating those emotions away, and other times you don’t feel like eating sh*t. Your mind, body, and spirit is shifting. Everything is slowly being filtered out. Just like a drug, or a drank (that’s slang for an alcohol beverage btw…) your body is detoxing the love you had for that person. And if you feel their pain, you may even experience these withdrawals twice as much. And that’s alright, it means you have a heart and that you’re growing up.

Awww that’s cute, now drink some water and detox that poison that was so-called love,

M0j0